My Motherhood Journey

We quickly learned, just because we couldn’t have more children on our own, doesn’t mean we can’t have more children of our own.

I am letting you into this journey with us, because so many of you have graciously allowed me into your most intimate moments. I have photographed your children’s births, your wedding, or your growing family. It takes a lot of trust letting someone into these parts of your lives and I’m so thankful to each of my clients-turned-friends who have trusted me. I feel the least I can do is show you a peek into my motherhood journey and what makes me, me.

The best moments of my life and the worst moments of my life have centered around my desire to be a mom. It has been a wild ride to say the least. Nearly two years into our marriage, we were surprised (and thrilled!) to get the news that we were pregnant with our first child.  A couple weeks later, we miscarried.  Our world was completely rocked as we faced grief like we had never known before.  I never knew loosing someone you had never met could come with such pain. We were confused and fearful of what would come next. {This sweet baby would have turned 6 last month.}  A few months later we found out we were pregnant again.  We were cautiously excited and in November of 2011 we gave birth to our wild, crazy, wonderful Jack.  He came out looking just like his Daddy with the most bleach blonde hair any of us had ever seen.

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Jack was so precious that we decided we’d like to give him a sibling right away.  When he was nine months old we started trying to get pregnant.  After 18 months of trying we had to face the fact that this wasn’t coming easy for us.  We had the difficult conversation trying to answer, “What next?” Keep trying naturally?  Fertility treatments?  IVF?  Adoption?  After thinking through all of the options, we decided to dive straight into domestic infant adoption through Bethany Christian Services.  The unknowns were scary, but we were ready to have another baby in our family to love.  We quickly learned, just because we can’t have more babies on our own, doesn’t mean we can’t have more babies of our own.  The waiting process of our adoption was incredibly difficult.  After our initial application, it took several detours and 2 long years to be matched with a birthmother.  The weight of the wait was incredibly difficult to bear.  We would go weeks without hearing anything from the agency, then receive the news that a birthmother was choosing a family that day, and then hear that we were not chosen.  12 times in 2 years we were not chosen.  The roller coaster of being hopeful and hope being shattered I believe can only be understood by those who have walked that road.  However, in October of 2015 we got the call.  Our adoption worker told us that a birthmother chose us to raise her child.  It was a boy and he would be born in just two short weeks.  Our joy was unmatched that day and we have been on cloud nine ever since.  We fell in love with our sweet Quinn the first time we laid eyes on him and he has been our sunshine ever since.  What a gift his birthmother has given us.  I would never wish “the wait” of both infertility and a complicated adoption on anyone, but for our sweet Q, I would do it 100 times over.

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While in the “wait” of our adoption through Bethany Christian Services, we learned more about the immense need to adopt through the state of Oklahoma.  We knew we would love to continue to grow our family and decided that as soon as we moved to Edmond, we would send in our application.  Well, friends, here we are.  As of last week our home study has been approved and we are an open family!  We are feeling all the feels as we move into this next huge phase for our family.  To those of you reading this and choosing to link arms with us in support as we move forward, thank you.  It truly takes a village and we couldn’t be more thankful to everyone who is a part of ours.  We can now be thankful for this road we have walked.  God has truly made beauty from our ashes.  We are praying for our next child daily. For protection, peace, and hope.

We are coming for you, sweet child.  You are already ours in our hearts and will move mountains and walk through valleys to bring you home.  You are loved, you are wanted, you are chosen.
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